Quotes
from Tarakeswar Biswal
1.Every now and then I do as my boss says or listens to my team; I simply love when they all get that confused look on their face.
2. When an optimist says" The glass is
half full." Everyone around was amazed with them. Let’s see, an alligator
chew off his left arm and then he says "Well now at least no one will ask
me if I am left handed or right handed." so now what those people will have
to say. I will definitely stand as I was "U pathetic moron."
3. Dad: Tara why the hell u got a repeat in
thermodynamics???
Me: Dad "Jo Bhi main kahna chahun
Barbad Kare alfaz mere"?
4. Office Humor: An employee submits his
medical bills in approval path. Itemized bill contains Ketamine and Rohypnol.
6. What would be a world without Women? Pain
in the ass!! Go figure!!
7. Heights of being funny: - During an
intimate session the lady exclaims "Ohh God!" and replied the dude
above "Dear it’s just me 'Tara' although people usually give me that
remark. I assume the resemblance must be too familiar.”
8. “When his life was ruined, his girlfriend
left, his farm destroyed and he is still working in logistics and warehousing,
Tara knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why
me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just
something about you that pisses me off.” -Stephen King(adapted screenplay)
9. Talking about Paradox it says "One
of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; One of
the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself." Go
figure!
10. Height of Insult: - Really!! You!! 3
million sperms and you are the one who got through!!
11. Non alcoholic drinks are usually referred
to as Virgins. Quite understood. I stopped being one as soon I had got booze in
me.
12. If you drink everyday you will be an
Alcoholic, thanks god I drink every night only!
13. It’s not that I am rude. I just have a
healthy aptitude for cynicism.
14. Calling someone Stupid is mean. Unless
they are actually stupid and then its Diagnosis
15. As a species, human beings define reality
through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that our primitive
cerebrum kept trying to wake up from. - Agent Smith [Matrix]
16. When Life gives you Lemon.........DEMAND
Tequila and Salt.
17. Be Gone!! SATAN...
18. Oh sneeze. If u have to come then come,
just don't leave me with a twisted and disgusting face.
19. I don’t know where you got your opinion,
but I hope you kept the receipt.
20. When I was a kid I always asked what will
be when I grow up. Now that I have grown up I want to be little again.
21. My friend has suicidal tendency. He wrote
on his wall “I am standing on a cliff”. I poked him... :)
22. Have you hated someone so much that
whenever you see them your middle finger gets a boner.
23. Missed Gym yesterday...That makes it 6
yrs in a row.
24. If I can’t reach it, I don’t need it!
25. Every day I come to office and do my
spell "Work I command you, be Done!" but nothing happens.
26. Most awkward moment in a public restroom,
another guy comes to the next booth, gives u a wink n does his business while
asking “how do u do?”
27. Like/Love = Spitting/Swallowing.
28. "...the finality is rest decided on
your confidence and your perception of the desired outcome.
29. A little rudeness and disrespect can
elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an
otherwise dull day.
30. Weekends don't count unless you spend
them doing something completely pointless.
31. Reality continues to ruin my life.
32. Oh Crap!! Full moon not again!! Going to be
a werewolf tonight! Sorry folks see later.
33. Nationality: Drunkard; Language:
Vulgarian.
34. Through the course the most significant
truth you stumble upon is your insignificance in the grandeur of the Agenda.
35. I don't have a problem with nice people.
But people being nice with an agenda give me the creeps.
36. In God I trust, Rest should pay in cash!
37. I care more than I acknowledge.
38. There are more preposterous vicissitudes
in life than a single philosophy can conjure!!!
39. Brain is just consciousness, but Mind is God.
So Never part from your imagination.
40. Meanings should be conceived form words
but shouldn't be taken as charity.
41. I try to be good! I do! My heart is as
pure as Snow!! It’s just that, well, sometimes events beyond my control
CONSPIRE against me!
42. Mind hosting the epic battle between all
that is Gray and all that is Red.
43. Looking back I see I have committed
wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and gluttony in full dedication. and I
am still here after committing the cardinal sins. Does that means I am already
in Hell.
44. Hard lesson I learnt "never question
a person’s ability rather question his/her intentions".
45. My pessimism extends to the point of even
suspecting the sincerity of the pessimist.
46. It’s a slanted perspective to see
extraordinary things through ordinary eyes. I guess that's where I stand.
–Samuel Sullivan
47. Value of time changes from getting up in
the morning to getting ready to leave the office in the evening.
48. Shakespeare once said "Frailty, thy
name is women" in todays world its goes as "Frailty thy name is
HR" coz they never get back to you as they promise.
49. A Good tongue is a damn good weapon.
50. For single guy best way to celebrate
Valentine's Day is to finish one quarter per each Ex and then break the bottle at
neighbors wall.
51. I Inspire Me.
52. All of a sudden this new idea of being
independent and self made has started to suck!!!! I miss my Dad's money.
53. I tried moon-walking, but I have so much
gravity I couldn't do it.
54. Freedom is the other side of the wall
which we have created around us. Ironically we die to cross that.
55. Hey stop this world I want to get down.
56. Preface is Idealism. Interlude is
Experience. Epilogue is Cynicism.
57. Listening to Richard Wagner’s Ride of
Vikyre make me feel like conquering Pakistan.
58. Always acknowledge a fault. This will
throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit
more. –Mark Twain.
59. Two things are infinite: the universe and
human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
60. There are so many Books but so little
time.
61. Over the years “What the Fuck!” has
become my regular reaction.
62. While sitting for exams I generally get
amnesia and Déjà vu at the same time. I don’t remember but I fell like reading
it.
63. I lived through terrible things in life,
some of them actually happened!
64. I usually don’t forget face, but for you
I made an exception.
65. Deadlines are not real for me until I am
facing one. Then they bring out the creativeness in me and I improvise the
tactics by choosing the complex shortcuts!
66. Fighting for Peace means screwing for virginity.
– George Carlin
67. Too bad all the people who know how to
run a country are in S/W companies or running rickshaws or hanging out on
Facebook.
68. A clear conscience is a sure sign of bad
memory. – Mark Twain
69. God: Listen son I have amazing things
planned for you!!
Me: Really!! Thank you so much I will
never let you down, I Promise!
God: Who is this? Ohh Shit! Sorry wrong person!
You err.. be as you are!
70. In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is
Freedom, in water there is bacteria. –Benjamin Franklin
71. Why the operational manual is remembered
only when something goes wrong with the device?
72. Shakespeare said “thus with this, kiss I
die” well I am not sure I am that desperate.
73. People seek advice only to blame that
person if things go wrong.
74. God forgive my little jokes on you and I
will forgive the bigger joke you make about me.
75. If times a constant the how the hell weekends
fly’s faster than a single Monday!
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